Sunday, January 6, 2013

What You're Doing

No words for once.
......................

I sit in silence and look at all my hands have done. What I once thought would be a beautiful masterpiece has turned into a pile of rubble. But in the silence, my thoughts turn from me to You. Knowing that You will take this lump of clay and mold a jar of gold.

You say let me mold you into something beautiful. But I am so scared to let You try. I know that You promised that You would be enough, but sometimes it just doesn't feel like that. I know these lies I've been believing only mess me up, so free me now from all I am.

I awake in the silence of the morning, I call out to You and hear Your voice cheering me on to start my day. The day goes on and slowly the distance makes me lose the sound of Your voice. Again, I feel discouraged and all alone. But when I am so alone, You come again and say, "My child, let me mold you into something beautiful."

I feel You all around me, I see You in the beauty of the ocean and the night sky. All I had to do was look, and You were always there. I lift my eyes to the sky and my hands in praise to You. I feel Your embrace and cry out once again with my voice to worship You. I know in this moment that You have great and wonderful things planned for me that I cannot yet understand.

In Your freedom I now wake and move. In Your freedom I live and love. I know now that when I was alone, when I was discouraged You were with me. You were drawing me to Your side and teaching me to depend upon You. Victory comes not through success, but rather brokenness and humility. You are teaching me to depend on You day in, day out.

So I hold on to You, when I have nothing left to hold on to. So many changes, so much to lose, so now I choose to lose it all for You. You gave me all I have, now I give it back to You. This is what You have always wanted for me, to find my treasure in You. Now here I am, on my knees, and I see You are all I truly need. So I will stay in Your arms and let You hold me as I bask in Your light.

.................

He is truly all we need, isn't He? How many times we miss His voice amidst the business and chaos of life. In all the changes and variables. Yet all He wants is for us to sit and be still. Let His Spirit work in us.
Let go.
Let go of the dreams, let go of the plans, let go of your house, let go of your possessions, let go of family, let go of approval, let go of opinions.
Let go of all but truth. Hold fast to the truth and hold fast to your Jesus.
'Cause He is sure holding on to you.

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