After more than two years in China and trips to 6 countries, I thought I was pretty prepared for pretty much anything that I might see around town…
………………
So it was after 8pm and I was hungry, my roommate was hungry, and I was craving barbecued eggplant. The do this wonderful thing where the stick a whole eggplant on the grill and just smoke the living daylights out of it. Turning it every few minutes, brushing on seasonings and oil, and after it looks like it's dead, they slice it open and smother it with more seasonings and heaps of garlic. Then they give it to you and you die of scrumptiousness. (I don't even know if that's possible, but for the sake of you realizing how amazing this is, let's say it's possible.)
We decided to go down to the old fisherman's village turned tourist trap to get the qiezi and decided to walk around for a while to decide what else we wanted to eat. We ended up with Thai green curry and these awesome skewers with bunches of green/red peppers and string mugua (mushrooms that I'll actually eat) wrapped in bacon and smoked over hot rocks and then lightly fried and brushed with sauce and dusted with spice… but in the process of all this had a great walk through the village.
I love walking through that village when it's not overrun by tourists and tonight it was pretty dead (remember that word). Nonetheless, I heard the ear-piercing horn of a motorbike trying to get through the narrow alley. I could feel the contents from the back of the bike within millimeters of brushing my elbow and looked down only to muffle a cry out.
……………………..
I had looked down to the back of the bike that literally almost hit my elbow/shoulder bag only to see a pig face glaring back at me. No. Not a pig. Not the whole thing, I would have SO preferred to see the whole pig. I'll even take a pig stepping on my foot over the face of a dead pig (with a little bit of neck skin), complete with tongue sticking out of crooked, nasty, yellowed teeth. I stopped and stared for a minute as the driver proceeded into a crowed and almost hit a couple other people and heard cries of "Gamahh!" and "Whaa!". I was glad I wasn't the only one recovering from a small dose of shock at the face. Pretty sure I'm going to see that face in a nightmare or something tonight.
That one I was NOT prepared for.
…………..
We're walking home and I look up to see this creepy, well-dressed vendor lady standing there raising her eyebrow at me like she wants me to come buy something. Something about feeling like a woman is flirting with you, though, kind of turns you off from buying anything from them.
We turned the corner onto a dark back road and I kept looking over my shoulder to make sure that she wasn't following us or sending someone to follow us. A bike rider went by, talking loudly into his hands-free phone. We turned onto the next deserted, but more well-lit street only to have a van stop by us. Like the kind where you get ready to run or fight because it's just creepy? So my roommate is staring/glaring at this van as we walk on (mind you, the driver is paying us NO attention), when I look over and a black car is passing us, repeatedly opening and closing a door- while driving… That was the point where I gave up feeling like there was a shred of normalcy in the evening out. (Amazed that it took that long?)
There are nights where everything you see can only be summed up with one word: bizarre.
Aanndd such is the life of living in China. Where any given thing can happen at any given time and it's okay. It doesn't have to have a reason, it just is.
So, pig face fresh in my mind, I sign off to have sweet dreams of piglets growing up to be butchered and paraded around town on the back of a motorbike…Sweet dreams, my fellow sojourners, sweet dreams.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Thursday, January 9, 2014
I'm Obsessed!!!! (The Prologue)
Apparently I could not just leave it at I'm Obsessed!!!! (Part 2)… So here is how He has been stirring since the initial kindling of flame in my head and heart.
…………………
Well, another month later, He still has me at it- pondering what a Christ-driven life looks like. You know what they say, a lot can happen in a month! And, as always in China, a lot has happened.
It really doesn't matter how you look at it, either something is up with work or VISAs or friends or family- it seems there is always some dramatic shift happening in my life. Such as it is when you surrender to the workings of the Almighty One in China…He makes sure there is never a dull moment. That kind of takes me to my point this post.
Once we give up our obsessions, what do we have left? When we no longer have a dream or goal to work towards and to stay up at night planning for, what's the point? Where's the destination? If I don't have a plan, how do I do…well…anything?
As much as I hate to plan what I'm going to do on a given day- especially when I'm on a break or vacation, I've learned that I'm totally lost if I don't have some sort of plan cooked up. I attribute my superb plan-making skills to my mother who was a list queen. Lists for everything: Weekly menus, Wal-mart lists, Lehigh lists, Ft. Myers lists, Ada's lists, mall lists, cleaning lists, packing lists- sometimes the lists were in categories of one list! For instance a Shopping List: might include three or four of the above mentioned lists, categorized and underlined! My mom is an insanely organized woman- which I totally respect and credit for my well-put-together-catagorized-color-coded life. She would tell you, if you asked, that all the lists was just to make sure she didn't forget anything, but I think it's just that she likes order and found a way to accomplish that and maximize her time to reach her fullest productivity levels in a given day- another thing I admire.
I am totally fine with a well-put-together-catagorized-color-coded life, but it seems that Someone else has called me to something more than that. Doesn't He call us all to more than that? But what? What, if not the most informed, well thought out plans to serve Him does He want from us?
These verses have haunted me since my junior year in high school when I first realized the implications that Jesus makes here. I tried so hard to find a way around them, I made excuses, I said it was impractical, I said it was more or a pictorial image than a reality. While I don't ask for revelations about my future and how things will work together, at least let me be secure in my family. And still I read things like,
Are you willing to believe the implications of this definition? It's actually the kindest one out there…the least details and most straight forward. The other definitions included, "With no regard to personal desires or cares". Imagine a world where we didn't life according to our own whims and desires. Imagine a world where we literally gave up whatever, whenever. What if we took away the Phone a Friend or Ask the Audience options in life. What if we went straight to God with our questions instead of our trusted counselors, pastors, and family members? Don't get me wrong, there is wisdom in council- Proverbs says so. I have counselors and mentors that I respect greatly and do go to for council and drink in their God-given wisdom. I'm not knocking that.
My point is, our lives have not been given to us so that we can make a great plan that makes everyone around us happy. Our lives aren't always family-friendly, we don't always have an answer when people ask, "So what's next?" or "Do you want to get married eventually?" or "Do you ever plan to go back to the States?"
No, once we've made the decision to follow Christ- we choose to become slaves for life- we give up all rights and desires. We give up the authority we thought we once had on all our decisions. Quite frankly, it really doesn't matter what our preferences are, what we want, what we aspired to be. We give all that up at the moment we say, "I choose You to be my Master, I want to be safe in Your employment".
So why are we discontent and frustrated today, Christians? Because we are still trying to run the show. We are clinging on to the authority that we already gave away. We are deceitfully going out and living the double life while under employment of the Master.
How much, indeed.
…………………
Well, another month later, He still has me at it- pondering what a Christ-driven life looks like. You know what they say, a lot can happen in a month! And, as always in China, a lot has happened.
It really doesn't matter how you look at it, either something is up with work or VISAs or friends or family- it seems there is always some dramatic shift happening in my life. Such as it is when you surrender to the workings of the Almighty One in China…He makes sure there is never a dull moment. That kind of takes me to my point this post.
Once we give up our obsessions, what do we have left? When we no longer have a dream or goal to work towards and to stay up at night planning for, what's the point? Where's the destination? If I don't have a plan, how do I do…well…anything?
As much as I hate to plan what I'm going to do on a given day- especially when I'm on a break or vacation, I've learned that I'm totally lost if I don't have some sort of plan cooked up. I attribute my superb plan-making skills to my mother who was a list queen. Lists for everything: Weekly menus, Wal-mart lists, Lehigh lists, Ft. Myers lists, Ada's lists, mall lists, cleaning lists, packing lists- sometimes the lists were in categories of one list! For instance a Shopping List: might include three or four of the above mentioned lists, categorized and underlined! My mom is an insanely organized woman- which I totally respect and credit for my well-put-together-catagorized-color-coded life. She would tell you, if you asked, that all the lists was just to make sure she didn't forget anything, but I think it's just that she likes order and found a way to accomplish that and maximize her time to reach her fullest productivity levels in a given day- another thing I admire.
I am totally fine with a well-put-together-catagorized-color-coded life, but it seems that Someone else has called me to something more than that. Doesn't He call us all to more than that? But what? What, if not the most informed, well thought out plans to serve Him does He want from us?
Now great crowds accompanied Him and He turned to them and said, If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear His own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. Luke 14:25-27
These verses have haunted me since my junior year in high school when I first realized the implications that Jesus makes here. I tried so hard to find a way around them, I made excuses, I said it was impractical, I said it was more or a pictorial image than a reality. While I don't ask for revelations about my future and how things will work together, at least let me be secure in my family. And still I read things like,
"Paul, a bondservant of Jesus Christ…"
"Paul and Timothy, bondservants of Jesus Christ…"
"James, a bondservant of Jesus Christ…."
"Jude, a bondservant of Jesus Christ…"What is a bondservant and why am I so stuck on this term? I believe 100% that it carries the key to purpose in our lives. I think it's the missing link for Christians who are burnt out, questioning why, looking for purpose, feeling useless or unappreciated, and despairing.
"bond·serv·ant
ˈbändˌsərvənt/
noun
- 1.a person bound in service without wages.
Are you willing to believe the implications of this definition? It's actually the kindest one out there…the least details and most straight forward. The other definitions included, "With no regard to personal desires or cares". Imagine a world where we didn't life according to our own whims and desires. Imagine a world where we literally gave up whatever, whenever. What if we took away the Phone a Friend or Ask the Audience options in life. What if we went straight to God with our questions instead of our trusted counselors, pastors, and family members? Don't get me wrong, there is wisdom in council- Proverbs says so. I have counselors and mentors that I respect greatly and do go to for council and drink in their God-given wisdom. I'm not knocking that.
My point is, our lives have not been given to us so that we can make a great plan that makes everyone around us happy. Our lives aren't always family-friendly, we don't always have an answer when people ask, "So what's next?" or "Do you want to get married eventually?" or "Do you ever plan to go back to the States?"
No, once we've made the decision to follow Christ- we choose to become slaves for life- we give up all rights and desires. We give up the authority we thought we once had on all our decisions. Quite frankly, it really doesn't matter what our preferences are, what we want, what we aspired to be. We give all that up at the moment we say, "I choose You to be my Master, I want to be safe in Your employment".
So why are we discontent and frustrated today, Christians? Because we are still trying to run the show. We are clinging on to the authority that we already gave away. We are deceitfully going out and living the double life while under employment of the Master.
The secret to a life of freedom? Bondage.Bondage to the One Who makes all things new. Bondage to the One Who sets the captives free and breaks the chains that enslave us to self and death. Bondage to the One Who gives freely and only asks for our loyalty and sincerity of heart. Would such devotion be too much to give the One Who gave all? How much more proof of His love do we need before we realize His trustworthiness and truly abandon our evil ways and hold fast to His security and conform to His standards?
How much, indeed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)