…………………
Well, another month later, He still has me at it- pondering what a Christ-driven life looks like. You know what they say, a lot can happen in a month! And, as always in China, a lot has happened.
It really doesn't matter how you look at it, either something is up with work or VISAs or friends or family- it seems there is always some dramatic shift happening in my life. Such as it is when you surrender to the workings of the Almighty One in China…He makes sure there is never a dull moment. That kind of takes me to my point this post.
Once we give up our obsessions, what do we have left? When we no longer have a dream or goal to work towards and to stay up at night planning for, what's the point? Where's the destination? If I don't have a plan, how do I do…well…anything?
As much as I hate to plan what I'm going to do on a given day- especially when I'm on a break or vacation, I've learned that I'm totally lost if I don't have some sort of plan cooked up. I attribute my superb plan-making skills to my mother who was a list queen. Lists for everything: Weekly menus, Wal-mart lists, Lehigh lists, Ft. Myers lists, Ada's lists, mall lists, cleaning lists, packing lists- sometimes the lists were in categories of one list! For instance a Shopping List: might include three or four of the above mentioned lists, categorized and underlined! My mom is an insanely organized woman- which I totally respect and credit for my well-put-together-catagorized-color-coded life. She would tell you, if you asked, that all the lists was just to make sure she didn't forget anything, but I think it's just that she likes order and found a way to accomplish that and maximize her time to reach her fullest productivity levels in a given day- another thing I admire.
I am totally fine with a well-put-together-catagorized-color-coded life, but it seems that Someone else has called me to something more than that. Doesn't He call us all to more than that? But what? What, if not the most informed, well thought out plans to serve Him does He want from us?
Now great crowds accompanied Him and He turned to them and said, If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear His own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple. Luke 14:25-27
These verses have haunted me since my junior year in high school when I first realized the implications that Jesus makes here. I tried so hard to find a way around them, I made excuses, I said it was impractical, I said it was more or a pictorial image than a reality. While I don't ask for revelations about my future and how things will work together, at least let me be secure in my family. And still I read things like,
"Paul, a bondservant of Jesus Christ…"
"Paul and Timothy, bondservants of Jesus Christ…"
"James, a bondservant of Jesus Christ…."
"Jude, a bondservant of Jesus Christ…"What is a bondservant and why am I so stuck on this term? I believe 100% that it carries the key to purpose in our lives. I think it's the missing link for Christians who are burnt out, questioning why, looking for purpose, feeling useless or unappreciated, and despairing.
"bond·serv·ant
ˈbändˌsərvənt/
noun
- 1.a person bound in service without wages.
Are you willing to believe the implications of this definition? It's actually the kindest one out there…the least details and most straight forward. The other definitions included, "With no regard to personal desires or cares". Imagine a world where we didn't life according to our own whims and desires. Imagine a world where we literally gave up whatever, whenever. What if we took away the Phone a Friend or Ask the Audience options in life. What if we went straight to God with our questions instead of our trusted counselors, pastors, and family members? Don't get me wrong, there is wisdom in council- Proverbs says so. I have counselors and mentors that I respect greatly and do go to for council and drink in their God-given wisdom. I'm not knocking that.
My point is, our lives have not been given to us so that we can make a great plan that makes everyone around us happy. Our lives aren't always family-friendly, we don't always have an answer when people ask, "So what's next?" or "Do you want to get married eventually?" or "Do you ever plan to go back to the States?"
No, once we've made the decision to follow Christ- we choose to become slaves for life- we give up all rights and desires. We give up the authority we thought we once had on all our decisions. Quite frankly, it really doesn't matter what our preferences are, what we want, what we aspired to be. We give all that up at the moment we say, "I choose You to be my Master, I want to be safe in Your employment".
So why are we discontent and frustrated today, Christians? Because we are still trying to run the show. We are clinging on to the authority that we already gave away. We are deceitfully going out and living the double life while under employment of the Master.
The secret to a life of freedom? Bondage.Bondage to the One Who makes all things new. Bondage to the One Who sets the captives free and breaks the chains that enslave us to self and death. Bondage to the One Who gives freely and only asks for our loyalty and sincerity of heart. Would such devotion be too much to give the One Who gave all? How much more proof of His love do we need before we realize His trustworthiness and truly abandon our evil ways and hold fast to His security and conform to His standards?
How much, indeed.
Indeed, the secret to a life of freedom IS Bondage. When we FLEE self and become all for HIM and His pleasure, we have found the fountain of 'true' life…Peace and Rest are the fruits of this discipline.
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