Constant Flux

In a world that teaches stability is responsibility, and responsibility proves credibility, one might argue that with the amount of instability I have in my life, I have no idea how to live in this modern age with any sort of direction or credibility.
But truth be told, I'm thankful to be in another country this new year's end- that makes three different New Year's celebrations in three different countries. A new city, a new house, a new job (2 of them...), a new church, a new part of the body of Christ, and a new mission field.
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I often tell my mom how much my heart craves stability, an apartment filled with dishes and cooking tools and teas to open in hospitality to people from all over at any time of day or night. But the truth is, even if I had all of that, I've learned that Americans in this part of the country are just too busy to share in this type of community. My nature is to find fault and try to correct it, but what I am learning is that there is no simple fix for cultural anomaly. It's a constant flux. Just like my life since turning 21... But as I have learned, by default and great pains, how to live in this constant flux, and learned that sometimes you hold on to traditions and make new traditions simply for survival, some semblance of consistency and sanity's sake, sometimes that's just how you have to navigate cultural 'norms'. And I'm also thankful for that.

For as much frustration of constant change we experience and navigate as world travelers and (seeming) transition junkies, it's so so good. I can think of several people off the top of my head who get how difficult transition is- how difficult it is to move to a new place with a new culture and lose a little of your native culture to the new culture just to survive there in contentment a little bit- and what it's like to go back to your native culture and feel torn, misplaced, and confused about your inner identity. Some of these people have moved and lived in 3x the number of places I have. The truth is though, it keeps us so tied to the culture of Christ that we are forced to cling to him with a grip that would rival my grip on the safety harness on the Sheikra ride in Busch Gardens my first time. If we didn't cling so tightly, we'd simply fall off the ride as it were. You wouldn't be able to find us, because we'd be hiding, hurting somewhere underneath the framework of the ride of our current culture. (And if you've been there before, you know exactly what I'm talking about.) If you haven't experienced it before, take my word for it. We are in need of a friendly hand up. Because while we go and move, cling and come back, we don't always get it right. And for that, I apologize for us all- universally. And I thank you for your patience with us- we are often scared and confused. We never look it, because we are always making those 'bold' life-changing decisions, but only by the power which works in us. And sometimes we take our eyes off of that power- just like you- and find ourselves dangling by a thread over a 200 ft drop with nothing but a thread keeping us from plummeting.

But that thread is salvation. And that salvation is what we live for. And why we live the way we do. Jesus said that He didn't even have a place to lay His head- he lived a life of constant flux. He constantly disappointed His family and friends- angered them even. But everything He did was for a purpose- that all would come to know the Father. And that is the only thing that never changed in His life. His desire that all would know the Father. And so that is what I find comfort in this, yet another new situation that leads into yet another new year. 2017. Honestly, every year end, I get incredibly nervous as to what the next new year will bring. I tell God how much I want stability, how much I don't want to keep moving around forever, how much I want to have a family, and how much I want to follow Him even if it means not getting any of those first three desires. The conflict is real, but end desire never changes. I was put here to bring God glory and be used to bring people to know the Father. So really, no matter where that is: what country, city, house, etc that is, I know there will always be consistency in my purpose and goals. And in that, friend, we can both take comfort.

No matter what situation you find yourself in this year end, I encourage you to take heart. Take a step back, and see that no matter what the flux in your life is, He is ever constant and His goal is ever the same. That His people know Him and are known by Him.

To A Departed Friend

Part of the excitement and tragedy of living overseas and meeting so many new people is that as often as they come and go, some of them you will never get to see again. When I was living in China, I had the privilege to meet a 'Jack Sparrow' look-alike. He would make frequent trips to Xiamen for business and always made the most of his time while there. He was only a rumor to me for the first year I was there and by the second year, I got to meet him in person, and I'm so glad I did. For the remaining year and a half, whenever he was in Xiamen, he made it a point to spend plenty of time with his 'China daughters'.  When we found out he had advanced cancer about 7 months ago, we were all shocked and prayed all the more for his healing. Yesterday, he won his battle and passed over the finish line into glory.
Here are just a few words I wish I had gotten to say to him.
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Dear Ferd,

Some say you lost your battle with cancer, but I think you just finished your task early and got your prize earlier than expected. I'm sure sad that I'll not see you again on this earth, that's not at all how I'd planned it or hoped for, but I guess Daddy thought now was a better time than ever to welcome you home.
I have a few things I want to say to you though.

I want to say thank you for showing me that there are good men in the world who love the Lord and care about us single people. Thank you for reminding me that I can trust people. :) Thank you for being the change in the time and place you had been given. I hope I can do that with the same gusto you did it with. Your reputation surely preceded you and I was privileged to get to meet you.

I remember how you were the first person I told that I was moving to Germany and how excited you got for me and how much you gushed about Germany and German men, and how I should marry a good German boy- a Christian one. Maybe one of these days I'll get around to doing that, but as today is not that day, I'll just giggle about it with those who knew you best.

Thanks for bringing life and energy into every group you joined, and for the awkward lunches that you dragged other unsuspecting single men along to meet us girls in. I don't know anyone else who desired to see us girls in Xiamen marry good Christian men as much as you did. That meant a lot and reminded us all that we are special.

Thanks for proving that you're never to old to grow closer to the Lord and for wanting to bring anyone and everyone along with you as you did that. I wonder how many people you'll see up there as a result of your faithfulness- now what a reward that would be!

I'll miss you, friend. <3