Hungry

Hungry I come to You for I know your satisfy. I am empty but I know Your love does not run dry.
................
Emptiness is a word that I have thought a lot about these last few months. Well, actually a lot since I came to China. I feel like I spent most of my days feeling empty. Dry. Tired. Last month I shared about motives and how I was learning to serve for Jesus first and foremost- then when I had given every last bit of me, I would not fall into the temptation of despair. This month He is putting that to the test. And He is teaching me more about the difference between emptiness and hunger.

"Oh taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!"

I find it interesting that the Psalmist uses the word taste. Taste has to do with a physical need that many of us do not understand fully: hunger. Last night I went to see the Life of Pi with a friend and there was one part where Pi says, "There is something about hunger that brings out the evil in your soul" (or something like that- you get the picture) Hunger weakens, hunger cripples, hunger affects our demeanor, our energy, our everything. Hunger can distract, it can make one delusional. What a sad picture hunger can be.  It is a hunger ignored. This hunger though is a hunger not satisfied.

Hunger was created to remind us of our needs. Our need for food, our need for God. Emptiness is a feeling I became well acquainted with these last few months, and have been learning to put away and let myself be filled with the Holy Spirit. But hunger is a new feeling that I am learning about. Lately I have been feeling- well, empty is not the right word. At first I thought I felt empty, but the more I thought about it the more I realized, "No. I do not feel empty- I feel the presence of God filling me and giving me strength and encouragement to keep pressing forward. So what is this then?" It is the intense yearning to be full of Him. To consume His Words and to digest every word carefully. I was encouraged to make this realization. I was encouraged because emptiness suggests that there is nothing left- whatever was there is gone. Hunger on the other hand suggest that there is still life. Something that is dead can not be hungry. As we face discouraging times in this life, we can always have the comfort that as long as we hunger there is life, there is hope. If God's love does not run dry, we can never be empty as His children. Hunger just shows our need for Him. Hunger can be satisfied.

"I'm falling on me knees, offering all of me. Jesus, You're all this heart is living for."