Out of Sight, Out of Mind

"That's just the way it is, Joanna, you chose to move to China and to those of us still in the States, it's out of sight, out of mind."
…………………..
The first time I heard these words they stung so unbelievably badly I wasn't sure if I could handle the implications. Having lived overseas in China for two years now, I've actually gotten almost used to hearing the expression.

Feeling displaced in a foreign country and learning to cope and live in a new culture with new people and learn a new language, it would be so much more simple for me to take the easy road and return back to America as quickly as I came. However, I have not been called to live in America for this stage of my life, I have been called to China. I know I must stay, regardless the cost.

As I mull over recent conversations with friends and family in the States, I can't shake the expression:

Out of sight, out of mind.

I hear it over and over again in my head, "Why won't it go away??" I ask myself. The more I think about it, the more I wonder how many times this has been my approach to God.

Out of sight, out of mind.

When it's obvious that God is working, or I see Him saving the multitudes, or I see hundreds of campers responding to an invitation, it's easy to think, "Wow, God is so awesome!" When I am on a boat in the Gulf of Thailand speechless because of the beauty in front of me and think to myself, "And my God is so much more beautiful than all I see!" I can sit through a worship service and be awed by the power of my great God, and I can hear God speaking clearly through His word or in a powerful message at a conference.

But when all that is over, when all is said and done, do I sit in my room in the silence, when no on is around and think, "Wow, my God is so awesome, so beautiful, so powerful, so worthy of my praise"?

More often than not, when I am alone in the afternoons after a full morning of classes, I find myself despairing. Despairing over a lack of communication with those I love, despairing over a word that should have gone unsaid, or deed that I refused to do out of stubborn selfishness that should have been done. Despairing over my pathetic lack of faith in many situations, and despairing of hope that I will ever not have to teach for a living or have a family of my own some day. Somewhere in those afternoons, my focus changed. My eyes shifted and my sight was not fixed on the prize. My eyes were no longer on God and His beauty, but rather the facts of life around me.

There was a shift from Truth to fact. I allowed my reality to be dictated by the circumstances around me rather than asking Truth what He wanted me to learn about Him through the situations. When I looked away from Truth, I forgot Truth. When I forgot Truth, I despaired. In an instant, I went from praising to mourning. Truth got smaller and I got bigger- so did the circumstances.

For even a moment, He became out of sight, out of mind

How tragic! How tragic it is that we can lose focus of our Redeemer, Savior, and Friend! How tragic that we could forget about our God, the Creator the Universe! How tragic that our one true Companion and Father could be invisible to us in just a moment! One moment of letting our guards down, one moment of thinking that we can stand on our own, one moment of wanting rest from the struggle… In one moment He becomes out of sight, out of mind.

Even as I write this, tears come to my eyes. I have felt the sting of the reality of this phrase and I have learned how to be seen. I have experienced the beauty of being seen and accepted, I have felt the warmth of pure love overflowing in the body of Christ and experienced sweet fellowship with those I am proud to call family. But I have had to work for it. It has not been easy, it's a journey- trial and error and more times than not I am afraid I am closer to the error side of things than the positive. But Jesus already did the work to be seen. He already came, He's already made Himself known. He's put out the greatest effort there has ever been to get our attention! And yet, still, in a moment we find Him,

Out of sight, out of mind

Oh that we would fix our eyes on Jesus, never wavering. With our shield of faith always protecting against the arrows of the evil one. That we would brandish our swords of truth with boldness to fight off our enemy and clear all the rubble and brush out of the way to have a clear view of the One who gave His life that we might glorify Him forever! So we might never be able to say His beauty, His face, His glory, His majesty, His love, His conviction, His Spirit could or would ever be

Out of sight, out of mind.